Decoding Deception

and other culty stuff

For those in the grief portion of the current experience, feel free to skip this. Your feelings are real and valid. What has happened is an affront to justice, safety, and overall goodness. Take your time, and know I am here to support you.

For those in the WTAF? portion of this experience, feel free to read on.

Some of you know this. Some don't. For the last few years, I have been in the in-depth academic study of high control groups and religion, a.k.a cults. I'll skip my entire thesis here, but my personal slap of reality was the pandemic. How did my community of perceived mystical wellness folks become one-sided, dismissive, and even shaming of actual science and human suffering? I have been diving deep into that answer.

I researched. I learned. I realized I had no idea what world I was in. Because this is the thing with culty stuff: it's really elusive and hard to see when you're in it.  And it is everywhere.

Now, we humans are a little bit culty (a phrase stolen from a great podcast of the same name¹). And a little bit is usually fine. It creates community and camaraderie. But destructive cults are another matter. Like massive storm fronts, they can engulf you before you even know what is happening. Paraphrasing the words of Deborah Layton, a former member of the People's Temple, the group led by Jim Jones that ultimately ended in the Jonestown massacre in 1978, ‘Nobody joins a destructive cult-they join a good idea.’

I know a whole lot of you might bristle at the word cult. Even in the deconstruction field (the field that people help people out of cults), that world is charged. I get it. I am intentionally choosing to use that word, though. Because that is what it is.

While I have a LOT to say on this topic, I want to start with one central point that is very evident in our current reality—information control. Destructive cults always control information because it is a way to control your psychology. If I can convince you what you are seeing, hearing, or experiencing is untrue, I can control your mind. If I can convince you that reality isn't real or you have the magical ability to shape your experience, I can control your mind. If I can get you to disregard other sources of information by telling you they are "wrong" or, better still, "evil", I can control your mind. If I can make you feel special, as if I and now we have the "secret", I can control your mind.

You see where I am going with this?

For those interested, this concept is taken from the BITE model of the Influence Continuum created by Dr. Steven Hassan². In this model, the I stands for information control while the B stands for behavior, the T for Time, and the E for Emotional control.  A destructive cult will control some or all of those facets. More control equates with more levels of destruction.

This cohesive persuasion aims to literally disconnect you from yourself, especially intuition, self-worth, and those vital inner forces that tell us, "This doesn't feel right." Taken too far, we disconnect from our very humanity, becoming a shill for the ideology itself, and our will and intuition becomes hijacked. Horrible atrocities can occur when humans are disconnected from their very humanness.

Of course this process is slow and intentional. A little here and a little there. An intentional unhurried slow drip of coercive control.

We currently have a massive disinformation problem that is intentionally sucking people into a vortex of coercive thinking and echo chambers of one-sided information. More than ever before. For those saying, "Hey, it happens on both sides." Yes. Sort of. Statistically speaking, if we are comparing the right and the left politically, the right has a much larger intentional propaganda machine³ (Believe me. I spend a lot of time there). One side has many more conflict entrepreneurs and fire starters than the other, who thrive on stoking hate (a powerful currency!), disinformation, and the secret specialism of conspiracy.

Additionally, social media, whose algorithms thrive on engagement, spreads disinformation six ⁴ times faster than factual information. Why? Emotion equates to engagement (remember the E of the BITE model?). Division, hatred, and blame are the intention. Those who divide and inflame can easily control. And it is working. Many of us have lost well-meaning people into the vortex of disinformation. Whole families have been torn apart.

A quick note on that. I will gladly share more information if you find yourself in that situation, but first, arguing facts won't help people in controlled ideologies. I learned this the hard way. Most people don't create their beliefs based on actual facts and data but on feelings⁵. Offering a counterargument will instantly make someone double down on what they believe, strengthening their narrative. There are ways to get through but they start with listening and understanding, not debate.

So, what do we do with all of that? I could write pages and pages here, but first, the key here is to build a personal mindset that resists manipulation without automatically dismissing every alternative perspective. It isn’t about picking sides or simple solutions but getting really comfortable in the uncertainty of the questions themselves. Complex problems have complex solutions.

Some tips on what to look for:

1. Cultivate Curiosity, Not Certainty: Disinformation thrives on certainty and specialness—promoting "the answer" that often feels definitive but discourages questioning. Instead, stay curious. Ask: "What more do I need to understand about this?" "Is there more context I'm missing?" Embrace questions rather than easy answers.

2. Rely on Facts, Not Just Feelings: It's natural to feel strongly about things we're exposed to repeatedly, especially if they echo our values or fears. But remember, feelings aren't facts. Seek evidence, reputable sources, and hard data to support or challenge what you're encountering. If something triggers a strong emotional reaction, take a step back. Emotions are worth noticing, but they shouldn't dictate belief.

3. Diversify Your Information Sources: Avoid relying on one source or a single viewpoint. Conspiracy and disinformation tend to thrive in echo chambers, where the same perspective is repeated until it feels like truth. Actively explore and vet multiple sources, especially those with differing viewpoints, and get comfortable with contradictory information. This practice strengthens discernment and reduces vulnerability to manipulation.

4. Evaluate the Source's Intentions: Pay attention to where the information is coming from and who benefits if you believe it. Ask, "Who is behind this message?" "What's their agenda?" Conspiracies often rely on creating an "us vs. them" narrative, so be cautious with any information that seems to provoke division, fear, or animosity rather than clarity or solutions. Watch for extreme generalities (“they”), absolute language (never, always, everyone), and demonization (vermin, scum, parasites). Also, are they trying to sell you something that fits their particular narrative? As the saying goes, ‘Look at what they're saying and then look at what they're selling.’

5. Practice Pausing: Information that urges immediate action, especially if it's urgent or fear-inducing, is worth a second look. Pause, breathe, and give yourself time to verify facts before responding or accepting the information as truth. This simple step prevents impulsive reactions and allows space for thoughtful evaluation.

6. Recognize Cognitive Biases: We all have biases that can shape how we interpret information. Becoming aware of our own biases—confirmation bias, for example—helps us see when we might be accepting ideas because they align with what we already believe. When you feel a strong pull toward an idea that "feels right," take a moment to question if it's just reinforcing what you already want to believe.

7. Stay Open Yet Skeptical: Openness doesn't mean accepting everything; it means being willing to explore ideas and evidence without getting locked into rigid beliefs. Skepticism, on the other hand, is about seeking truth by questioning what's presented. Together, they create a balanced approach where you remain receptive to possibilities while holding space for truth.

In an age flooded with information, the challenge is finding our way through the noise without falling prey to the traps of conspiracy and disinformation. The goal isn't to reject all alternative ideas but to make space for exploring them carefully.

We love to hear from you. Feel free to leave a comment.

1. https://alittlebitculty.com/

2. https://freedomofmind.com/cult-mind-control/bite-model-pdf-download/#information

3. https://www.pewresearch.org/journalism/2014/10/21/political-polarization-media-habits/

4. https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/you-cant-handle-the-truth-at-least-on-twitter/

5

Grant, Adam. Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don’t Know. Viking, 2021. p.15